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<title>Morrigan at the Crossroads by hes5thlazarus</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750017">Morrigan at the Crossroads</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hes5thlazarus/pseuds/hes5thlazarus'>hes5thlazarus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood, Past Child Abuse, babies are really hard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:01:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26750017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hes5thlazarus/pseuds/hes5thlazarus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>From musetta3's one-word prompt, "monster." </p><p>Morrigan reaches her breaking point, confronted with the one person she cannot flee: her six-week-old son, who cannot be soothed back to sleep, struggling in the Crossroads.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Flemeth &amp; Morrigan (Dragon Age), Kieran &amp; Morrigan (Dragon Age)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Genuary 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Morrigan at the Crossroads</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>She was not so foolish to eschew a midwife and bring Kieran into the world on her own. The Dalish in the Wycombe delta had a reputation for shelter, and she spent the first month overwhelmed and quiet in Clan Lavellan’s Friendly Homes, first the more public-facing town of Rivendell, and then the Golden Bough, when they realized she was a mage. Then a rider from Ariane’s clan arrived and Morrigan left in a hurry, sealing the baby in a soundless barrier, and ran to the nearest eluvian. She took what she needed on the way. The Dalish had offered her help, and she always believed in biting the hand that fed. And if they did not want to be betrayed, then they should have learned from their ancestors’ mistake: never trust a shem. She built herself up in scorn as she fled, to ignore the guilt and fear niggling in the beat of her heart. Mahariel and Tabris and Surana would find out, no doubt, and they would disapprove. But what did she care? What did she care?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She cared a great deal, it turned out, when she realized she had not taken the diaper bag the First had assembled for her. Morrigan had taken a pretty gold bracelet, a halla that kicked her as soon as she dismounted and ran away, a book on Dalish camping wards, and three loaves of bread. None of these things were particularly useful for soothing a fussy baby--and at six weeks, all babies are fussy, Old God or no.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kieran screamed. He screamed as she tore through the forest, he screamed as she activated and stepped through the eluvian, he screamed as she rushed, head pounding, to the campsite she had made before she had gotten too unwieldly to live alone. He screamed and turned away from her proffered breast and beat her with his little fists. Such </span>
  <em>
    <span>fury</span>
  </em>
  <span>: was that her, or the Old God, or his father? Regardless it was too much, how could an infant be so angry?  She had no idea what was the matter. She had no idea how to fix it. And he kept on screaming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Morrigan paced the length and breadth</span>
  <span> of the island as her head throbbed and colors kept flashing from monochrome to horrific fluorescence, rubbing Kieran’s back and humming her way through every song she had ever heard and still the baby screeched. Hours past. Kieran would slow down and hiccup instead, panicking Morrigan as he choked, and then return to full volume. She rattled the bracelet she stole from Clan Lavellan, but it did nothing. Eventually, he cried himself to sleep. Exhausted, Morrigan curled up under a statue of a wolf and cradled her son in her arms, watching his lips gum at the air in his sleep. Tears slipped from her eyes unthinking. She had not even realized she was so fried until she started crying, but she tried to keep as silent as possible so as not to reignite his rage. Monster, she thought, monster: you stole from the Dalish again, and you know Mahariel will find out. You ran away from your friends even though you know they needed you. You brought this monster-child in the world and you can’t even get him to feed. Monster, monster, you’re turning out just like your mother. You thought you would do a better job than Flemeth? At least she made sure you ate, and when you cried yourself to sleep it was not where she could hear.</span>
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